This should be a short article. If you read the preceding post about how I decided to get into programming and all of the prep work I did, you’d know I’m about to hit a grand slam at this interview. The result should be a foregone conclusion, but since you’re here, I’m guessing you’re interested enough in reading about the details. Here we go.
The first lesson you need to learn about being an adult is that you should always drive to the location of the interview before the day of the actual interview. I lived in South Florida, a couple intersections North of Miami-Dade county. The office where my interview would take place was in North Boca Raton, nearly Delray Beach. It was a good forty mile drive. About an hour in traffic. I wasn’t going to let a little distance get between me and my goals.
When I get there I prepared myself in the car. I stuffed multiple copies of my resume in my black leather portfolio, straightened out my shirt, and brushed my short 3 millimeter length hair. I’ve basically had the same hair style since I was a kid.
I was wearing the same shirt I always wore. A black button up with blue fluorescent-like thin stripes. The stripes were every shade of blue and maybe some green. No front pocket or tie because I think I’m stylish. Add in the fact that this shirt washed so many times that the black looked grey and we got ourselves a true winner. I could’ve been the third main character of A Night at the Roxbury.
The woman who greets me is as nice now as she was on the phone. Somehow, she’s pretty much what I imagined. She asks me to wait for a moment and a couple of minutes later walks me into a meeting room. The magic is about to happen.
It’s a long table. On the opposite side are three individuals (I think). The first guy looks like a watered down version of Dana White. The second guy is young, a little lanky, but I can’t figure him out. I’m the worst at figuring people out. Want to laugh? Dye your hair purple and wear red contacts and keep track at how long it takes for me notice. I don’t remember the third person, thus why I said “I think”. I’m sorry, mystery person.
After some short pleasantries, we started with the interview. I’m in my Moises Alou batting stance ready to knock this one out of the park… “So, what did you have for breakfast?”
What. in. the. blue. hell?!
After I shook the stupid look off of my face, I gathered myself and tried remembering, “um, same thing I always have: a bagel with eggs and cheese.”
He continued, “and if you can have anything you desired for dinner, what would you have?” That one is easy: “medium rare steak and mashed potatoes.” That was basically the extent of this guy’s questions. (Remember I said in the article leading to this, IT people are pretentious. Many months later I found out why this Sigmund Freud was asking me these questions. I’ll explain in the notes at the bottom.)
The other guy explained that they were a “Microsoft shop”. This meant that they mainly used Microsoft products. Their code is written primarily in VB.NET. Well, that’s great, because I’ve heard that word in school. “ASP.NET?”, I asked. “Yes”, he replied. They tried quizzing me on my skills, but they hit a brick wall every time. They asked what experience I had in programming. “I built a website in college using ASP.NET. It had controls, validation, and user input. We built it in Visual Studio.” That was as technical as I got. Little did they know I built the site using the graphical interface and knew nothing about the code. Damn you, school. You failed me.
After a couple of questions, it was pretty clear that my knowledge of programming was extremely limited. They had identified that and one of them gave a deep sigh. It was one of those sighs that said “look, we’re done trying here”.
He finally said the only thing I needed to hear, “We’re looking for a junior developer, but you might be a little too green. We need someone that can help out with some in-house web applications and learn as they go.”
An opportunity. This all I ever needed. I can’t let this go. “Yes, I am inexperienced. But, I promise you, I always aim to be the hardest worker in the room. I see life as a relay race. I’ll be ready to pick up the baton when the next guy hands it over. I just need to see how it is done first. I’m a great listener and look forward to learning from others. I’ve never failed. Even when others think I have, I actually learned. Effort will definitely not be a problem. If there is one thing that school taught me, it was how to study on my own. I promise you will not regret this. I’m the type of person that always strives to over deliver. I will learn and catch up extremely quickly.”
I did not pick up on any cues that I impressed them. I’d say I left there not knowing what was next. The only reason I don’t say I completely bombed is because I’m an optimist and they had yet to tell me I don’t qualify for the job.
A day or two later, I get a call with the same pleasant voice on the other end, “Hi, Cristian. This is Shea with [company name]. The guys were really impressed. We’d love to have you on the team.”
Snatched out of the jaws of defeat! Just when I think I couldn’t possibly be any dumber, I completely redeem myself!
Let’s learn some programming!
Lessons Learned
- Maybe a year or two after working here, the bald guy who interviewed me was getting ready to interview another candidate. Given the time that passed, we had become acquainted by now. He told me that his tactic was to ask a question about something that happened in the past. A fact. He would look at the person’s eyes and remember what direction they went. Now he knows where they look when they’re telling the truth. Next, he asks something that requires you to be creative and make up an answer. Thus, why he asked me what I wanted for dinner. Depending on what direction my eyes looked at, Dick Tracy over here determined I’d be lying if I ever looked that way. Yes, this guy interviewed based on some advice he read in the Cosmopolitan advising women on how to field their prospective man of their dreams. Batman over here, The World’s Greatest Detective, decided to practice his interrogation skills at my expense. Remember: IT = pretentious.
- Be honest. While I was in over my head, I never lied. A humble and honest person will be forgiven for their shortcomings much quicker than an arrogant liar. Embellishment, sugar coating, lying, whatever you want to call it, if trust is in question, the person on the other side is no longer fully focused on what you’re trying to telling them. They now have to spend energy trying to filter the fallacies and crap in your words. Also, you’ll sleep easier at night. Unless you’re trying to write to entertain, keep the adjectives to a minimum.
Haha! I was asked if I played Farmville.